Halton Ocean

Helen Akacrew has found a cure for anthrax.

Apparently it does work on cold sores too.

Personally I think it would catch on better as a cream.

Another superlative dive brief by CH..

splash, duck.

Should maybe put skins on.

Splash. Duck.

Just do this bottle.

Splash, duck.

In a minuit.

SPLOOSH.

Should have put my oilies on.

Finished cleaning the boat just as the ferry blew and another eager crew jumped aboard. A new group for me so all unknown faces, mostly Scapa virgins from the sounds of things. See if I can remember where to go and what to do..

Think this is the first day since July that I have not been out with divers.

So they woke me up, dragged me out of my bed kicking and screaming and then sat on chest, all the while pouring wine down my gullet.

I then had to stay on guard all night ready for the early morning coffee brigade so that I could let them back in the galley.

And all that included in my humble, meagre charter price. All heart, thats my weakness.

Windy now in North Haven.

Found….

1 1/2 Cannon

2 Cannon Balls

….second one next to a dead copper.

Lost

Iron bar
2 Measuring sticks
Weight pouch

Think the first half goes to the spanish.

So there we were, Bunny and me, gamboling and skipping thru the early evening mist having a laugh and a giggle in the hills of Fair Isle….

…..when we got to the top of the hill and smelt the hint of home carried north on the breese.

It was a slow melancholic meander back to the boat and dried out spag bol.

We are down in Fair Isle this week to dive the El Gran Griffon, a sailing ship that survived the rout of the Spanish Armada only to be wrecked in Swartz Geo on the SE corner.

However there are a few caves about too.

Thats us. Six weeks in Shetland and now it’s time to head south.

It feels a long time and there is a change in the air: a chill in the mornings and the plumage of the birds is different.

Left van behind for postage later.

Just a black cape and a long wait needed to complete the picture….

Curacao:

“right, go down and tie the shot to a cannon”

splash

“..no cannons.. bollox.. there are 27 of them.. in an area of 40sq m… under weed?.. start grazing then..”

Try again.

And again.

And again.

The old saying implies success with this strategy.

Sunniva.

“Right. Go down and tie the shot to the prop”

Splash.

Big grin.

He’s got his mojo back. Back out the pond and sitting on the log to bask in the sun.

“You saw a ballet of pipe fish..??”

“a what?!”

“a ballet“

FFS. A ballet?

He wasn’t on the log long.

Well they found a fork…

and he found a fork the next day but never let on…

.. so on the next day, before they jumped in the water, I surruptitiously gave two of them forks from the cupboard to wave at their mates in the water.

The two that came up first had forks. But they were not the two I had given forks to.

Then the next two had forks too

Funny. Everybody managed to find a fork.

Nice that nobody was left out.

Can’t see the Sophia Excelby is gonna be that chuffed though.

Well, you get attached to a wolly bear. By the end of the week it often gets attached to you too.

So when the zip goes you know that it is just starting to get warmed up. Fine wine, other items of vintage… time creates pedigree.

When its time to sew up the front with corelene cos the zips bust.. well, then it has just becomes an old friend.

Press Release

Halton Charters is proud to annonuce that a user feedback protocol has been implemented across the board with early results showing an encouraging start, most customers reporting a positive experience.

> Have seen the Blog - assume that once clare has seen it, this will be
> Bob’s last birthday
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> Very sad
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> Happy diving guys

The bunnyshuck technique. Also known as the “Longhope backhand”.

1 Find a willing bunny and unwilling clam.

2 Hold clam upside down and slide knife randomly across roof until internal components completely mangled.

3 Stab clam again like a crazed axe murderer until the little blighter opens.

4 Remove lid and discard.

5 Grab remains left that are fit for consumption.

6 Gobble up anything else before anyone else comes along.

7 Fry scallops shucked using skipper technique for fare paying punters.

1. Find a cup of tea, sharp knife and new freind.

2 Hold scallop with hinge at finger tips and insert blade into side. Cut adductor muscle by sweeping knife forward close to lid.

3 Open shell and discard lid.

4 Remove mantle, gills, shite pipe and stomach, leaving coral and muscle still attached.

5 Remove rest of bits and tidy up remains. Rinse well in seawater.

6 Hand rest of catch over to new found friend to complete and cook.

7 Retire for cup of tea.

Well, managed to turf the troops off the boat for 8 without them realising it was my birthday: never let on things like that as it always ends in tears (or a sore head).

Had better presents in the past though..

On the day that you were born, the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true…..

They sprinkled star dust in your hair and in your eyes so blue

I knew her when she used to rock and roll.